panjandrum (noun). an important personage or pretentious official

I have a handsome new bookshelf in my room that’s waiting to show itself to the world whilst it sits in my room, via the internet.  Since today is Wednesday, I decided to coincide its unveiling with GPOYW, because Mum braided my hair today in a funky way (from my left ear to my right).  I’ve been trying for the past 20mins to try and capture the awesomeness that is Mum’s delicate work and skills, but Toby fails as a camera in this regard.  So all I have for you is my flashed-white face that doesn’t really show Mum’s handiwork, with my new handsome bookshelf that I’ve only half finished packing.
Clearly, my bookshelf is more handsome than I.

Here’s the sexy beast again. ( I really love it!)
And yes, I have bottles of alcohol holding up my books.  I currently don’t have any bookends so half-full alcohol bottles, which aren’t mine, will suffice!

connoisseur (noun). an expert judge in matters of taste

Dear Hieu,
I noticed on your New Years Resolution post that you wanted to increase your tolerance for chilli.  This got me really excited because i) I love chilli and ii) am connoisseur of chilli (if I may say so myself!). Subsequently, I have come up with a list of suggested foodstuffs to assist you in your resolution.  I really do love my chilli and hope you’ll learn to love the burn, the flavours and colours of the small, hot-tasting pod!

All types of food to help increase your tolerance for chilli!

(in increasing order of what I call “Chilli Burn”)

1. Paprika-salted hot chips (think, Red Lea.  Maybe even try those Devil Chippees in place of the normal Chicken Chips)

2. Mild Curries (these are more coconut-ty than burn, so its a good start too!)

3. Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Wicked Wings (I find that only the coating is ‘wicked’.  I find that if the burn gets too much, dip it in some sweet-CHILLI sauce!)

4. Dominoes’ BBQ Meat Lovers Pizza, with CHILLI flakes (most of the time, they’re stingy with their flakes, so they only add a bit on!)

5. Yum Cha Dumplings with the CHILLI sauce that comes with the tea (I think that Yum Cha CHILLI sauce is the best CHILL sauce around, and you can dip as less/much as you want!)

6. You average Subway Footlong, with JALAPENOES (if it ever gets to much, just take another bite of the salad filled bun to ease the burn)

7. BBH, more commonly known as Bun Bo Hue+ some accents that I’m not sure about (Ask for no spicy, then add the CHILLI satay sauce to your liking.  I find that BBH burn can cure a noseblock, but it’s not too strong, so it’s wonderful like that!)

8. Regular donor kebab, any sauce you want + CHILLI sauce (I like to mix it with BBQ because it’s sweeter to offset/accompany the burn.  Morever, you can add the beloved garlic sauce, however I find that it can overpower the BBQ and CHILLI mix)

   By this stage, if you can handle chilli sauce in your kebab, you can move onto the more advance burn stuff, such as the following:

9. Nando’s Chicken with MILD Peri-Peri Sauce (for the brave, try the HOT Peri-Peri Sauce.  Warning: Peri-Peri Sauce can be addictive!)

10. Pad Kee Mao (which can be found at any decent Thai restaurant-pretty much fried noodles, but with CHILLI!  I normally get chicken with veggies on this)

11. Explode on Wok, which is now called the Chicken Explode at Baan Thai/Thai Baan in Liverpool (this delivers the most beautiful burn)

This is just a suggestion and can be moulded to your own liking!  If anything, just add some fresh chillies or chilli sauce to any stir-fry you have at home.  Hope this helps mate!

Regards,
Maggie

discombobulate (verb). confuse (someone)

I’m so embarrassed! ):

I’m home with a tummy ache today and have finished reading the rest of The Catcher In The Rye, and about time to.  I can’t wait to start this new-ish book I got from Paddington’s Ariel titled Freedom: Short Stories celebrating the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. I think this will be an easier read compared to the well-renowned Salinger title.  Now, it may be that I lack the intellectual capacity to understand what seems to be teenage colloquial language, but I didn’t get the book at all.  The last chapter started off like this:  “That’s all I’m going to tell you about.”

WHAT?!   You end on me like this? After your eventful week of meeting a prostitute, sharing stories with nuns and bawling your eyes out to your sister, you end your story like that?  Mind you, this chapter only has 3 paragraphs so can you feel my sense of being cut short.  It’s kind of like the feeling when someone says to you “Hey I have something to tell you.” and they begin telling you their story, except they cut it short because they have to go to the loo or something.

I was really looking forward to reading the book because everyone was raving on about it: a couple of friends, some passer-by (he saw me on the train with it and said “That’s a good book you’ve got there!”), it was referenced in Youtube land, and it’s listed on A&R’s Top 100, as well as being among the best 100 English novels chosen by Time. I don’t quite understand why everyone loves it so much.  It’s pretty much the scattered thoughts of a teenage boy who thinks he’s better than everyone else.  Sure, the novel points to a few crucial issues revolving around growth and the transition from adolescence to adulthood, but I did not get what should be a cathartic ending.  Really, I didn’t, which made me even more discombobulated after 15 or so chapters of somewhat illogical events and stories.

Heck! I had to go Sparknote it, and I rarely (and by rarely, I mean only once) use Sparknote- how embarrassing for a tertiary International Studies/soon-to-be Law student.  How embarrassing!  It really makes me scared to head back into uni unable to decipher what is a relatively easy text.

counterveil (verb). to act against with equal force, power or effect; to counteract

Sometimes, I don’t get myself.  Most people in their late teens are so sure of who they are.  I, on the other hand, am only sure of i) who I was, and ii) who I want to be.  There is no present-me, and this really bugs me.  I have no idea why my mind keeps spiralling itself through this thought of what is eventually nothingness, slash a silly, futile post-modernistic perspective.  What annoys me even more is that I’m turning a whopping TWENTY years old at the end of the year and I can’t present myself as a myself because I don’t know who I am.  I don’t think having an identity crisis at the age of 20 is healthy.  I once thought I encompass a lot of things as a person, rather versatile.  But heck, one year through tertiary education and there are cliques to stick to and distinct groups of stuff to comply with- so if you’re not this, you’re that; if you’re a Liberal, you’re an economically-driven, human rights-ignorant and not compassionate; if you’re in Oxfam, you despise of Phillip Ruddock and love Rudd. What!?  WHO WHAT WHERE DECIDED THESE LABELS?   Or am I really a walking contradiction. RAH RAH RAH (I love Lady Gaga).  I love clubbing, but I’m over the getting-trashed stuff; I love clothes, but I can’t stand consumerism, materialism and superficial-ism; I love animals, but I consume them.  Boooooooo.  I hate this, please go away.

Uni, thanks a lot of imposing an undying, reflexive mindset that critically analyses everything that walks in my path- even myself. Thanks a lot mate.  Now, instead of spending these holidays as carefree as possible, I’ll have to muster up time and energy to counterveil the thought process that is currently dominating my grey matter.

flagitious (adj). disgracefully or shamefully criminal; grossly wicked

Sarcasm.  I’ve been employing a lot lately so I could learn the art of sarcasm, that is, be more able to pick up on sarcasm in text and everyday communication.  I’ve always had a problem with it- this noggin of mine lacked sarcasm detection and I was getting worried as I headed into tertiary education.  I feared that no one in society would believe that I attend university because of the fact that I was seriously unable to detect the most obvious form of sarcasm.  I’m glad to report, that I’ve been adopting and improving my sarcasm detection skills! (:  I didn’t just decide that I improved on my own account; rather it was verified by Eric, who asked me “Why do you use sarcasm for?”, which meant I was able to convey it, and therefore understand to an extent how it works.  My account of this to him was pretty simple: Sarcasm is a tool for humour, humour induces laughter;and laughter is the best medicine. (I felt so G when I told him that because it made me believe that I was well and truly getting the hang of sarcasm!)

Anyway, I walked into JB Hi-Fi today, and they had Britney Spear’s Oops…I Did It Again album playing.  I’m gonna go hunt down my copy of the CD because I remember liking it a lot when the album came out (no sarcasm!).