dialectical (adj). relating to the art of debate; arriving at the truth by the exchange of logical arguments

November 2, 2009

I determined today, in the car on the way to work through a dialectical daydream, that I absolutely hate liars/being lied to.  I recently met this person and very quickly deemed them my friend because we have pretty much the same interests, aspirations, taste in food and humour.  I shared a lot with this person because they seemed to genuinely want to know about me and in turn shared, in my opinion what was, a lot about them.  I thought we were gonna be life long friends- how naive of me to actually concur to a statement made with words to that effect by this ‘friend’ themself (from here on in, I will refer to this person as friend, ironically).  I picked up on friend’s tendency to tell white lies to get out of situations they didn’t want to be in, such as ‘a sore throat’ or ‘a massive headache’.  I thought this was rather innocent as I know quite a lot of people, including myself, to use these white lies to to get out of meetings and work in general, so I didn’t think much of it.  In fact, I thought it was rather funny at the time because friend’s act was heaps entertaining and the person they had a meeting with had been so eager, which was funny.  In retrospect, I now feel as if I should go seek out that person who wanted to meet up with friend and tell them that friend had lied to them to avoid that meeting.

I suppse what got me was during the break.  I had bonded well with friend, and really wanted to catch up over the break, however short it was.  However, they were busy with something and we never got to meet up. I didn’t think much of it because we could always catch up at uni anyways- wee both pronounced we were flexible with a lot of things, time included.  When classes resumed, I was eager to find out what friend had done over the break.  They said something about going interstate with family.  It was all very vague, very standoff-ish.  At first, I actually thought it was me who had caused them to become vague and standoff-ish with me.  It wasn’t until one very boring day that I logged onto the infamous Facebook and found photos of stuff over friend’s break and realised that what they told me was a lie.  I was disappointed that friend failed to share this with me as I know that friend knows I would have loved to hear their stories and experiences.  I was, put simply, cut.  I felt betrayed and somewhat outraged.  I seriously thought I could trust friend, but apparantly not.  My trust was betrayed by someone who I had met for the shortest amount of time.  It was truly disappointing.

What’s worse is that this betrayal had evolved into some form of hate for all liars in general due to another incident which occured whilst I was browsing on Facebook last night.  I was again, just browsing on friend’s page because it appeared on my News Feed.  I accidentally had tapped on the Info tab, instead of my Home tab, and found that friend had lied about themself.  I felt betrayed all over again because what I thought I knew about friend was not what everyone else knew.  Who I had spent time getting and wanting to know was what not how they wanted to portray themselves on the internet/to other people.  It hurt to know that.   I suppose I had let the first instance of being betrayed go because I can tolerate it- I understand that everyone is human and is allowed to slip up once in a while.  But I feel differently this time- I really don’t like being lied to, especially IN THE FACE.  It has definitely deterred me from telling white lies to get out of situations I don’t want to be in.  It reiterates that oh-so-humble notion of I HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. It has made me realise there are people in the world who are willing to lie their way through life (Mum says that these people are arrogant and that I should not be their friend any longer: Thanks mum).  I think I’m just gonna avoid friend from now on in.  I really don’t want to feel betrayed again.


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