counterveil (verb). to act against with equal force, power or effect; to counteract
January 17, 2010
Sometimes, I don’t get myself. Most people in their late teens are so sure of who they are. I, on the other hand, am only sure of i) who I was, and ii) who I want to be. There is no present-me, and this really bugs me. I have no idea why my mind keeps spiralling itself through this thought of what is eventually nothingness, slash a silly, futile post-modernistic perspective. What annoys me even more is that I’m turning a whopping TWENTY years old at the end of the year and I can’t present myself as a myself because I don’t know who I am. I don’t think having an identity crisis at the age of 20 is healthy. I once thought I encompass a lot of things as a person, rather versatile. But heck, one year through tertiary education and there are cliques to stick to and distinct groups of stuff to comply with- so if you’re not this, you’re that; if you’re a Liberal, you’re an economically-driven, human rights-ignorant and not compassionate; if you’re in Oxfam, you despise of Phillip Ruddock and love Rudd. What!? WHO WHAT WHERE DECIDED THESE LABELS? Or am I really a walking contradiction. RAH RAH RAH (I love Lady Gaga). I love clubbing, but I’m over the getting-trashed stuff; I love clothes, but I can’t stand consumerism, materialism and superficial-ism; I love animals, but I consume them. Boooooooo. I hate this, please go away.
Uni, thanks a lot of imposing an undying, reflexive mindset that critically analyses everything that walks in my path- even myself. Thanks a lot mate. Now, instead of spending these holidays as carefree as possible, I’ll have to muster up time and energy to counterveil the thought process that is currently dominating my grey matter.